After 12 hours of flying and a two-hour layover, boarding the high-speed train from Paris to Nantes produced in me conflicting sensations of relief and apprehension; relief to finally be in France, to have navigated the Charles de Gaulle airport in Paris and to have successfully bought a train ticket and student discount card, and apprehension for the next leg of my journey. Gazing out at the landscape through the window of the high-speed train from Paris to Nantes, my hands clenched and my stomach churning with nervous anticipation, I thought, “Wow, this is it. There’s no going back now.” All of the unknowns of being on my own in a foreign country, all of the what-if’s that had been suppressed by the rush of packing and preparation and excitement of the past few months, flew through my head as I watched the miles that separated me from my destination fly past. With my cheek pressed to the window, I silently begged the train to slow down, to give me time to make the adjustment from the comfort of home to the disorientation and unease of being alone on a different continent before being thrown into an unfamiliar household and forced to speak a vaguely familiar language.

It did not help my nerves that, due most likely to some combination of fatigue and anxiety, French suddenly seemed almost fully inaudible to me. I tried to calm myself down by focusing on the quaintness of the towns through which the train passed, observing the European architecture occasionally colored with French graffiti. I contemplated the man wearing a coat covered in pictures of Benjamin Franklin and the billboards broadcasting the French translations of American advertising slogans. But the nervous pangs in my stomach not cease.

Thus, I cannot pretend that my arrival in Nantes was as exciting or easygoing as I had imagined it would be. I felt lost. I had chosen this specific program primarily because I was drawn to the absence of familiarity, the lack of a safety net to protect me from facing the challenge of full cultural immersion. But at that moment, despite my attempts to appear brave and to share in the excitement of my fellow students, I secretly longed for the comfort of home or school.

My introduction to my host family, however, brought me an enormous sense of relief. Upon accepting me into his home, my host father told me, “Tu peux être ici comme tu es chez toi” (basically, make yourself at home), while my host mother graciously complimented my French. Although much of the dinner conversation was over my head, I felt I could understand the gist of the discussion and contribute when asked, which was often. That is not to say that I was immediately at ease in this foreign environment, and I know that it will often be a struggle to acclimate to my new surroundings. But the knowledge that it is possible to function competently and comfortably on my own in another country has afforded me a newfound confidence in my own adaptability, a confidence that I will take with me on my travels and that I hope will enable me to continue to take risks and to experience as much as possible over the next four months.